February 2009
2 posts
How to Break a Heart
How to break a heart It is not difficult Anyone can do it So could you, if you tried Just find a light And switch it off As easy as blinking That’s what I was taught When I was too young to ask By ladies in white nightgowns In dripping weeds and black ribbons A girl’s best friend is a small handgun The question was useless For I could say yes But you’ve got to ask...
i challenge you to make sense of this.
Rachel: wtf?!
Zee: actually
lo0k
Rachel: im so confused
Zee: well
i noticed tha time
thats y isaid
wtfk
so laters
yu fuck
xox
Rachel: lololol
guess what
Zee: what
Rachel: i went to bed at 4am yday night
watching horror movies
Zee: o m g!
yur so kool!!
Rachel: thats how the fucken hardcore kids do it
Zee: like, actually!!
o m g
no sleep
man!
i must feel awesome!
yeaaaaa HAIL SATAN
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
666 for life
NUMBER OF THE BEAST
Rachel: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
Zee: I'm gonna sleep at 6
yeahhhhh!
Rachel: IM SEEING IRON MAIDEN
Zee: fuck yeah!
Rachel: FUCKING FUCK FUCK
YES
YES
Zee: asdiljsdvd
Rachel: SIXSIXSIXXXXXX
Zee: oi hav yu been iron maiden
FUCK
lol
i meant!!
spoo0kers
hahahaha
Rachel: omg this is HARDCORE
YEAHHHHHHHHHH
fucking
CHAINSAW SHIT MAN THIS SHIT IS SO CASH
i bet you shat yourself
Zee: i was baked az
and i came owt wit mean cold sweats
Rachel: did they put you in an oven
Zee: lol
my shirt was soaked
lol yur lame
Rachel: you're baked
hahaahahahaahahahahaha retard
Zee: hahahaha its a saying yu dick!
nite
xox
Rachel: xox no jjlol
January 2009
4 posts
Dangerous Waters
shark people
wear shark clothes
drive shark cars
they
circle
round+round+round+round+round+round+round
shark people
got shark jobs
live in shark zones
they
hunt
in packs
if you get cut
dont let them smell your blood.
Addiction by Nissa Annakindt
ADDICTION
books are drugs
sucking souls
in
2
kaleidoscopic rainbow fantasy
forget cocaine
the real danger is literacy
Hallucinations by Nessa Annakindt
ALIEN INVASIONS & THE LOVE OF LAWN FURNITURE
in a spaceship made of technicolor trashcans the aliens are coming - but are they edible? thats what dear lizzie needs to know
judas christ is dancing now with cousin josh in my alfalfa field where the opium cactus grows
and motorcycle gang accountants drinking drinks of liquid drano diluted with the finest kerosene
excuse the mess the...
wow, tumblr, it's been a while.
i promise i won’t abandon you!
just wanted to share some of the work of Nissa Annakindt. She’s a brilliant poet.
Money
BUY! BUY! BYE!
at a dealer near you the only leading brand recommended by more doctors and handpicked by juan valdez for confidence that lasts and whiter washes anything else is just a no sugar added all natural wimpywimpywimpy brand x
December 2008
21 posts
upon walking along ohope beach
matt: hey, i found $2 in the sand!
rachel: oh, can i have it? i just dropped $2. true story.
matt: um, it was half buried.
rachel: yeah, i dropped it pretty hard.
My Top 22 Bands of 2008
In the right-ish order. Subject to change. Some settling of contents may occur…
(Tried to make a Top 10 list, but it failed because the other 12 were too good to omit :P)
Nightwish
The Birthday Massacre
Marilyn Manson
I Am Ghost
Alesana
Dope Stars Inc.
Infected Mushroom
Korn
In Flames
Iron Maiden [have my ticket to see!]
Mindless Self Indulgence
Oomph!
The Used
Emilie Autumn
...
it's been a while.
Work jokes!
Dumb Lumley
The Paedophile Bus
Functional Elevator! (and of course, Elevator Comparison)
The Mediocre Wall of Lame - and of course, OK Souvenirs
The Same-Shirt Brigade
Jeff the Staple Remover (please talk to him, he gets lonely)
Touch to Enter
“This staircase smells a bit funny.”
the next time i go to a shop and a christmas song...
that is all.
artists that should have been killed in the...
Kings of Leon
Katy Perry
MGMT
The Ting Tings
Panic At The Disco
As I Lay Dying (borderline)
Drop Dead, Gorgeous
Bring Me The Horizon
Good Charlotte
Hannah Montana
Nickelback
The Pussycat Dolls
Fall Out Boy
Rage Against The Machine
Simple Plan
The Veronicas
i may have to plug my ears to stop the blood flow.
My Fucking Awesome Job Has Capitalized First...
Let’s see:
- I didn’t need to hand in a CV because my mum is a partner in the company, and people there have known me for years. Insta-job. No interviews, no CV, no fuss. In fact, they practically offered it to me because they needed help.
- My mum employs Wendy, the office manager. Wendy’s my boss. She has to be nice to me because my mum is HER boss. But no hard feelings, cuz...
hair dye.
i love the first day of having dyed hair.
not only does it look great - shiny, well conditioned (you get an EPIC conditoner in the dyeing pack)
but it also smells fantastic all day, and there’s no time for it to fade or grow out just yet.
killa beez.
jamie: can we go to the beach?
lauren: no! it's creepy at night. weird people hang out there, like the killer bees...they raped my sister once.
“rachel’s mum’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and...”
– jamie
wtf?
rachel: this is gonna hurt and it's probably gonna explode.
jamie: that's what she said...
(we had microbean pillows, we were putting them on our heads and having a headbutting contest)
“Important: Do not let me around cakes when I’m drunk. I will faceplant...”
– Charlotte’s Bebo page.
oh shi-
maria: can you take me home today?
eric: nah, i have tennis.
maria: how long will that take?
eric: depends how long it takes to finish the game, but if you want i'll lose 9-0 9-0 for you.
ahra: [?] what's going on?
rachel: he's gonna lose the - FUCK!
long word fail! also, epically long chatlog.
Dylan/Rachel
Dylan: hahaha, Reynolds just picked a fight with me over msn. so I told him he smelt, and then started using big words that he doesn't understand
Rachel: hahaha
awesome!!!
Dylan/Reynolds
Dylan: dude. you're as imbecilic as a juvenile pre-pubescent 11 year old
Reynolds: i didnt get a word of that
imbecilic?????
Dylan: no. you wouldn't have. because you're an imbecile
Reynolds: at least i can afford to take out a girl
owwww ouch take that one
Dylan: oh yes. you're right. having no social life, and working in a dank, boiling hot kitchen is definitely worth being able to take out a girl...
wait. you actually don't have enough free time to be able to GO on any dates
Reynolds: wtf
Dylan: You, are a conglamorous tumor in my rectal cavity. A laceration to be itched at. A scab, to be picked off.
Dylan/Rachel
Dylan: ahahaha
Rachel: oh god
i just lol'd so hard
Dylan: 'conglamorous' isn't even an actual word
Rachel: xDD
Dylan: give me some big words
Rachel: equipotentiality
say 'your hippocampus is ruptured' or something
Dylan/Reynolds
Dylan: oh
and I forgot to tell you
due to your equipotentiality, and your gruesome stench, your hippocampus may as well be ruptured
for I no-longer consider myself your conglomerate nemesis in arms
Reynolds: hahahaha your a funny kid
now in english
Dylan: oh? that's strange. I do believe I was speaking English the whole time
Reynolds:
yes but the spelling wasnt spot on
Dylan: I also believe that you will find me spelling and grammar exponentially pulchritudinous, and correct
Your absolute, and ridiculous claims concerning my superior mastery of the English language make me melancholy, and makes me weep. For your utterly incoherent , and futile attempts to form a coherent phrase is utterly depressing
GAY GAY GAY
Jamie: omg
Rachel: wut
Jamie: have i told you about the guy in noel laming?
Rachel: let me guess
he's UBER hot and on your gaydar
Jamie: fuck you
“Why do Macs have white keyboards? Because all their users are wankers.”
– Dylan (who is coincidentally a Mac user xD)
wow!
awesome day today!
1st period - spanish oral test. why a good thing? i’d had no prior preparation. didn’t think to memorise it the night before. :\ but with christina’s help, we both blitzed it. except…christina said “what are the movie times?” (in spanish) and i couldn’t remember how to answer, so to stall, i said “i’m looking it up on the...
November 2008
38 posts
weekend.
i’ve had a terrible weekend.
grounded. missed out on so much fun.
and i’m sunburnt. FFFFFUUUUUUUU-
on the bright side, though, i have been loaned a 4GB iPod. this makes everything better.
gotta stick it out for one more week….4 more days, and then community service…and then pray i’m not grounded for next weekend. (city trip + sleepover)
funny...
Daniel: i like this version of this song :D
Rachel: ooh, send?
Daniel: lol, u missed the cue
ok
Rachel: what cue? D:
Daniel: last time you said, "no you don't!"
Rachel: and you expect me to remember that?
Daniel: no mr. bond. I expect you to DIE
*shifty eyes*
Rachel: you win +1 internets
Daniel: what's that worth?
Rachel: one million neopoints
Daniel: :-O
gimme gimme
Rachel: it's invisible
Daniel: that's like
500 dubloon disaster wins
Rachel: not in a day, you can only cash in neopoints 3 times a day!
Daniel: nuh-uh
Rachel: ya-huh
Daniel: dammit. how am i meant to get a comeback to that?
Rachel: i dunno, just say something that will confuse me
Daniel: *you* say something that will confuse you
Rachel: fuck. umm...
Daniel: confused yet?
Rachel: you win.
Daniel: :D
what do I win?
Rachel: you win -1 internets!
Daniel: my million neopoints!
NOOOOO
this is quite sad.
Dylan: SO...
I hear you like...
MUDKIPZ
Rachel: FUCK YEAH SEAKING
Dylan: NO WAY MAN
MAGIKARP ALL THE WAY
Rachel: IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR
Dylan: NO WAY MAN
I USED FLY
you can't hit me for 1 turn
Rachel: you fucking fail at memes
besides, magikarp can't even learn Fly
Dylan: um
you wanna bet?
Rachel: it's on
Dylan: good
'cause if you get one of the lvl 100+ ones, you can teach them fly
Rachel: really?
Dylan: well I did it
it was a glitched pokemanz though
Rachel: ghey
Dylan: yeah it is sorta
argh
“I can’t make people sad! I’ll die if I do. Either that or giggle....”
– Mikko
Thingummyworms.
Aspartane! aka artificial sweetener. This is where Leonidas and his men are hiding. Don’t drink diet coke ever again.
Also, Fish is now PR: Pedophiles’ Retreat.
Also, keen as a bean for the weekend. The week’s been pretty great though, as far as school goes. I don’t think I’ve skipped any classes so far! Except for Study today, and I was there at the start anyway....
“ill be late to come see you cuz i fell in a hole.”
– text message from Darcy
the scene kid. fertility/fatality
Rachel: What's your name?
Scene kid: Florence.
Rachel: Okay, from now on I'm gonna call you Florence Fatality.
Daniel: Hey, that was good!
Scene kid's friend: Haha, that means you can't have babies now!
we lol'd hard.
semi-drunk fun?
lena: why are they called pussies anyway?
kiara: because they're fluffy!
charlotte: i have three pussies!
jamie: i have four, beat that bitches!
MARTIN
shemale!
emma, you’re gonna have to fill me in on the rest of this. because it’s funny.
“studies show intelligent girls are more depressed
because they know what the...”
– opheliac - emilie autumn
oh my god. →
smosh usually fail to impress me, but this is pure brilliance. i laughed so much.
funtiems.
theipodguru:
Rules:
- Choose a band/singer - Answer the following using ONLY titles of songs by that band/singer
Are you male or female? bitches.
Describe yourself. issues.
What do people feel when they’re around you? diabolical.
How would you describe your previous relationship? never wanted to dance.
Describe your current relationship. faggot.
Where would you want to be now? prom.
How...
lit!
so, those in my lit class will know full well the things we get up to. keeping a tally of distractions made etc. there are always lulz to be had in lit.
mrs navarro is so easily wound up. she’s costa rican and fluent in spanish. while doing some work today, some of us were talking to her about…spanish homework, I think?
the class got epically distracted and started asking her how to...
lol'd so hard.
Daniel: lol, that song [Janie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith]
i bug jamie so much by singing that with jamie instead of janie
Rachel: haha yeah
i remember
Daniel: try it, it's fun lol
Rachel: theres a girl called janie in year 11...
Daniel: wow, i really do learn something useless every day xD
Rachel: we should go hunt her down
Daniel: lol, YEAH
"we have reason to believe you are in possesion of a firearm"
Rachel: LOL'D HARD
Daniel: "step this way please"
xD
Rachel: she might just kill us
Daniel: that would be an ironic death
Rachel: lol'd again
Daniel: shot by someone called janie when we were teasing her about having a gun
stupid things i've done recently.
1) went to school in the middle of the night, and stole letters from the SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY sign to make it say SCIENTOLOGY.
2) while doing so, looked straight up at a video camera.
3) invited someone i’d just met to my house, while there was nobody else home.
4) scrunched sheets of paper up, covered them in hairspray, then lit them on fire and played soccer with them. in a field of...
Invisible Wounds (Dark Bodies) - Fear Factory.
I...
fail.
Rachel: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
Rachel: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
Simon: on sunday...
Simon: *cough*
Rachel: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SIMON THE LOVE OF MY LIIIII- oh fuck
10 friday things.
1) going to snowplanet on a friday night beats malling any day. too bad it’s so damn expensive.
2) don’t ever order their pizzas, they explode.
3) fish is epic. (don’t worry…)
4) keen for holidays, and then campy-pants. these holidays are going to rule.
5) don’t ski with fingerless gloves! or in a teeshirt…like i did.
6) dom; i’m behind you all the...
“Ahra: Helen Clark is President!
Lauren: There’s no such thing as a...”